A legal practitioner and divorce lawyer, , has moved to dispel the longstanding public perception that family lawyers encourage the collapse of marriages, insisting that lawyers only step in when relationships have already suffered deep misunderstandings and irreconcilable conflicts.
In an article titled “Lawyers Don’t Break Homes, Misunderstandings Do,” Adebayo explained that many Nigerians wrongly assume that divorce lawyers exist to “scatter homes,” whereas their actual role is to guide families through difficult legal and emotional realities.
According to him, the first reaction many people have when someone identifies as a divorce lawyer is the belief that such a person does not support marriage.
He, however, clarified that he strongly believes in the institution of marriage, having come from a Christian home where his parents have remained married for over three decades.
“I believe in the bible so much that I agree with it when it says, ‘God hates Divorce,’” he stated.
The lawyer noted that while society may dislike divorce, lawyers are often unfairly blamed whenever marriages fail, despite having had no involvement at the beginning or during the happier phases of the union.
“As at the point you said ‘I DO’ to your spouse, a lawyer was not involved. During the good times in the marriage a lawyer was not involved, but all of a sudden when things go south you begin to blame a lawyer for taking up a brief to scatter the marriage,” he wrote.
Adebayo stressed that family lawyers are not demolishers of homes but rather regulators, counsellors, mediators, and peacemakers who attempt to salvage relationships where possible.
He further explained that under Nigeria’s Matrimonial Causes Act, the legal system itself encourages reconciliation before any petition for dissolution of marriage can proceed.
According to him, lawyers are required to explore mediation, counselling, negotiation, and other peaceful settlement mechanisms before litigation.
“The first question I ask any spouse seeking dissolution is: ‘Can this marriage still be saved?’” he stated.
Highlighting what he described as the “silent killers” of Nigerian marriages, Adebayo identified financial pressure, interference from relatives, shifting gender roles, emotional incompatibility, unrealistic expectations, societal pressure, and poor communication as major causes of marital breakdown.
He explained that his responsibilities as a divorce lawyer are twofold: repairing relationships where possible and ensuring safety and order when separation becomes unavoidable.
According to him, before filing a petition for dissolution of marriage, he usually arranges multiple meetings between parties for dialogue, counselling, and reconciliation efforts.
However, he noted that some marriages cannot and should not continue, especially in situations involving domestic violence, emotional abuse, abandonment, or circumstances threatening the physical and emotional well-being of either spouse.
In his conclusion, Adebayo maintained that lawyers merely provide structure and legal guidance during already broken situations, while prioritising the welfare of children, fairness in property distribution, and protection of legal rights.
“The Nigerian family unit is the backbone of our society. Lawyers do not walk into marriages to break them. We step in only when misunderstanding, neglect, or unresolved conflict has taken root,” he said.
He added that his commitment remains preserving peace where possible, restoring order where necessary, and upholding justice always.
